Things they forgot in the Baby Manual (if you even got one…which I didn’t)
- Kids are exhausting – they just really are. Manuals may tell you to “nap when the baby naps”…but if your kids are older, then there are no naps and no breaks – and if you’re silly enough to spend a day with them at Kennywood Amusement Park, then they are really exhausting. However, if they are so tired that they nap in the car on the way home, then they will be up late into the night…just to make sure that you’re exhausted!
- You should not serve spaghetti to children under the age of 5 (or maybe 10) unless you have a hungry dog in the house….strewn sauce-covered noodles underfoot are just not pleasant.
- Kids are exhausting – they just really are. Unless they are old enough to be trusted in the refrigerator, if they are hungry, you must get up off the couch to grab them a yogurt stick. If they have to “go potty,” you must get up off the couch and take them. If they are fighting, you must get up off the couch and break it up. In fact, until they’re tucked into bed at night, there’s no point in even sitting on the couch.
- You should never wash a disposable diaper in the washing machine (particularly if loaded). Despite amazing absorption technology, it will at some point explode within the machine and scatter some sort of white pellet onto every other piece of clothing in there. (Advice from repetitive experience – dry them all and just shake each one before folding to loosen the pellets….ahem…I don’t actually “fold” their clothes…there are 5 boys after all!)
- Kids are exhausting – they just really are. They have a constant need to push their developing independence and are constantly into everything. If they can crawl, they crawl up the stairs. If they can climb, they climb onto the dish washer door and systematically empty the dishes onto the floor. If they can walk, they walk out of the yard’s gate and onto the road. And if they can run….you’re done. (You might as well just go find the couch!)
And I am going to go find my bed….I’m exhausted!