A week of “heavy boots” for me. Both boys are apparently struggling at school. Super Tall Guy seems to be having a particularly severe time….and after a string of emails and phone calls from teachers, I hit the wall.
Sometimes as a mother you struggle just to breathe.
Oh…it happens quite a bit, actually. I didn’t know that. Before. Now I do.
The tears burn hot in the eyes and threaten to escape onto the apex of the cheeks.
The heart aches as it wordlessly pumps life-giving energy into a body temporarily unwilling to accept it.
The brain screams “failure” from deep caverns within.
And you sit
Washed in emotion
Lost in contemplation
Crushed in fear
How could you be such a failure?
How could you?
The evidence seems to mount up so clear
Arguing against you
Sometimes…. it takes a few moments to pull back
To look up
To step away
To see that all the little pieces jumbling towards failure
Pointing towards failure
All the little pieces….
Are in fact….just little pieces
And apart they are manageable and will dissipate.
Do not let them congeal and yell failure.
Do not listen.
You are mom.
You are strong.
You will rise again.
And so will they.